A month ago, I posted an Instagram reel sharing my thoughts on how, even though being a Creator is more popular than ever, very few people are actually creative.

One comment stood out:

Someone called me out, saying that, as an ex-Instagram guru, I was part of the problem by telling people what to do:

It got me thinking—were they right?

Why Frameworks Don’t Always Work

I could give you a detailed curriculum for doubling your business in 90 days, complete with copywriting formulas, funnel setups, and content scripts.

Yet, many people will still fail.

Why?

Because most people don’t have the soft skills required to sustain that growth.

Skills like: Resilience, emotional intelligence, self-belief, dealing with uncertainty… the list goes on.

The same applies to content creation.

You might think you need to spend more time writing out your audience avatar or refining your content pillars for the 7th time this week.

But on my creative journey, I've learned that a lot of this is just busy work—advertised by coaches who believe sharing tactics, systems, and frameworks alone makes them valuable.

And we keep chasing these things because we think they make us valuable, too.

But it’s masking the real problem:

We’re insecure about our ideas.

We’re scared that something won’t perform.

We’re afraid of judgment.

That Instagram comment made me reflect:

“Have I contributed to the problem by promoting frameworks without addressing what people are really missing?”

The answer is yes.

And it took one of the most frustrating coaching calls I’ve ever had to realize this.

How I Prepared For My First IRL Interview

A couple of months ago, I was preparing for my first in-person podcast interview, and my mentor, Joe, helped me through the process.

… By the way, the interview with Spiraling Higher just got released today! You can click here to watch it:

At first, I thought we would focus on the typical stuff—perfecting my talking points, refining my story, or developing solid soundbites.

But Joe had a completely different approach.

At times, he’d make us sit in silence, asking me to guess what he was thinking just by reading his body language.

We did this over and over again.

During our conversations, he also had me ask him as many questions as possible about his life, which threw me off because, hello!? I’m the guest? Not the host?

When we did roleplays, he sometimes wouldn’t let me finish my thoughts and would ask me questions unrelated to sabbaticals, business, or being a creator—things I’m prepared to discuss.

Instead, he’d ask me about religion, beauty procedures, family, and other topics I never really talk about, and at the time, I felt were completely unrelated and off-topic.

It was one of the most frustrating coaching sessions I’ve had to date.

I came in expecting formulas, scripts, or some podcast interview framework.

I even had a Google Doc full of specific life and business lessons I wanted him to review.

But Joe wasn’t interested in any of that.

And at the time, I didn’t understand why.

Why Soft Skills Matter More Than Tactics

I interviewed on Jenna Kutcher’s Goal Digger podcast a few months before.

While I love Jenna and the content was solid, looking back, I noticed something important: it wasn’t a conversation.

There were times I was stuck in "monologue mode," a habit I picked up as a YouTuber, where I'm used to delivering dense information in 20-30 minutes without any breaks.

But if you asked me on a deeper level, I monologue because I’m so focused on saying the "right" thing and doing a "good job" that I’m not truly present.

My mind is racing, thinking about my prepared answers instead of being engaged in the conversation.

Worst of all, I spiral even more when a host doesn’t send me questions in advance.

This was the case for the Spiraling Higher interview.

They didn’t give me any questions, and so I was desperate for a sense of control.

I hoped that Joe would give me a framework, tactic, or strategy to make me feel prepared and safe.

But Joe wasn’t interested in giving me that safety net.

What he was doing was far more valuable.

He was teaching me soft skills, such as presence, active listening, curiosity, and, perhaps most importantly, restraint.

How, even though I often feel the need to say everything at once (fearing that people won’t think I know enough), it’s okay to hold back and let the conversation flow naturally.

We don’t always need to lay out all our cards or showcase our expertise in one breath.

Sometimes, the real magic happens when you leave space for the conversation to unfold without forcing it into a predetermined agenda.

The Surprising Results

I didn’t fully appreciate the impact of Joe’s coaching until the day of the podcast (heh— sorry Joe!)

The morning of, I felt unprepared and annoyed.

I wondered if we had wasted time, thinking, "Why didn’t we work on my messaging more? Or make my story more interesting? Or flesh out the tangible lessons I learned?"

But to my surprise, I think this was one of the best interviews I’ve done to date.

The conversation flowed naturally—unscripted and spontaneous.

I found myself sharing stories I’d never told before, cracking jokes, and even asking Gina and Sam a few questions myself, which made the conversation richer, fun, and more engaging.

Gina and Sam ended the interview by saying it was one of their best conversations yet.

They mentioned how present and engaged I was, but what they didn’t realize is that this wasn’t an accident.

It came from hours of intentional practice—not from following a cookie-cutter framework or creating an agenda for my story, but from learning presence, restraint, curiosity, and, most importantly, building evidence for myself that my story—not my prepared answers—was enough.

What can we learn from this story?

While learning technical skills like funnel building, copywriting, and video editing can be helpful, they’re not enough on their own.

So, the next time you find yourself searching for another framework or shortcut, take a pause and ask yourself:

Is another technical course really what you need?

Will tweaking your content plan over and over again actually make a difference?

Or is there something deeper—an insecurity or fear—that’s holding you back?

I realized I didn’t need a storytelling framework, a mentor’s validation of my story, or hours poured into preparing perfect answers.

What I truly needed was to let go of control, be present, and master my energy to become comfortable with uncertainty.

For you, it might mean developing the skill of feeling genuinely connected in creating and sharing your message rather than constantly worrying about how others will receive it.

Or maybe it’s building the skill of courage to talk about something you’ve always avoided.

Whatever it is, remember this: success isn’t just about tactics, hard skills, or strategies.

In fact, I’d argue that those things often hold us back from expressing our most authentic selves.

If you’re looking for a new way to approach your creativity, I highly recommend The Creative Act by Rick Rubin or The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.

These books offer a fresh perspective on what it really means to be a creator—and I hope they inspire you as much as they’ve inspired me. ❤️

If you liked this newsletter, then you’ll love this video:

In this interview, you’ll hear several thoughts, lessons, and feelings I’ve never shared publicly before.

You’ll hear about how I really felt when other creators posted about me during my sabbatical, the insecurity that kept me from making new videos, my view on industry relationships, and sooooo much more.

It’s 2 hours of deep conversation, and I hope you take the time to watch or listen to it. ❤️

As always, I appreciate you so much for getting to the bottom of this email.

Feel free to reply to this email with any thoughts or comments—I usually dedicate Mondays to reading and responding to as many as I can! 🙂 

Stay true to who you are,
Vanessa

PS: Many of you DM me asking what email provider I use. It’s Beehiiv :)

Using my link here, you can get a FREE 30-day trial and 20% off for your first 3 months—enjoy! 🐝 💌