After growing my YouTube channel to 800k+ subscribers and reaching millions of views, I did everything "right."

I followed every tactic and every framework and even taught these methods because I thought this was what value looked like.

But in 2023, I hit a wall.

Burnout forced me to walk away, and at the time, I wasn’t sure if I would even return.

The truth is, my relationship with YouTube (and business) took a toxic turn.

Initially, what was my passion and dream was something I hated and resented.

It was pretty ironic, and my story is not unique.

In the last couple of years, many creators have quit the platform altogether or even descaled their channels (Matt D’Avalia is a good example).

What this tells me is that we are NOT a strategy or tactic away from success and that success is not solely defined by how many views we get or the money we make.

And so, what is?

Well, here’s my story of what I personally found out 👇

My WTF Am I DOING!? Story

When there’s so much pressure to perform, sometimes what feels like the safest thing to do is to follow someone else’s formula to success — whether that’s more money, virality, or whatever else.

If it worked for them, it should work for me, right?

While following trends and mimicking someone else’s style can start off as harmless or even a safe crutch, over time, it results in creative burnout and feeling lost with your identity because you’ve been representing yourself as someone else.

As my business grew, my imposter syndrome also grew.

This got worse when I started joining business masterminds, when the gap between me and my peers became wider and wider.

Remember this photo I posted a couple of years ago?

Yeah, I felt like a total fraud sitting at this table.

The funny thing is it was right after THIS event that I decided to launch my high-ticket mastermind.

I launched it because:

1. Sam Ovens, who was sitting next to me, told me I should if I wanted to *easily* double my business
   

2. I was the smallest business in the room, and I was desperate never to feel this type of shame again.

Now I want to slap myself 😂

Looking back, I just wanted to keep up with the other multi-seven—and eight-figure entrepreneurs. I wanted to earn their friendship. I wanted their admiration.

I wanted to belong.

As a result, I started doing whatever it took to hit the big numbers because it seemed like having big numbers was the only way to get noticed.

This started my journey of copying others because I stopped trusting myself.

I changed my editing style to mimic Alex Hormozi.

I hired a content team like Codie Sanchez.

I started talking about team and operations like Leila Hormozi.

I launched a mastermind like Sam Ovens.

You copy enough people enough times, and the lies will catch up with you.

It wasn’t until one Saturday evening in January 2023, when I was neck-deep in the residual work of running a mastermind, managing a content team, a sales team, my YouTube channel, Instagram, and my online course, that I felt completely overwhelmed and trapped, like I couldn't keep going.

You see, even though I was getting the most views I’d ever gotten and finally broke through my income plateau, I was the most inauthentic and exhausted I’d ever felt.

That night, I learned that copying other people’s methods to success rarely works unless you share their values and their way of thinking.

You might be able to mimic their moves on paper, but when you don’t think through the “why” or question what type of person you’re copying, you’ll constantly be working overtime, trying to figure out how to keep up.

For example, the idea of posting more videos sounded great, but I didn’t realize the toll it would take, filming and scripting 2-3 times more content than I was used to.

Hiring a content team seemed like a great way to scale, but I didn’t realize how detached I’d feel passing my work off to copywriters and multiple video editors, and how removed I’d be from the final result.

Launching a mastermind seemed like an easy way to grow my business, but I didn’t enjoy the actual work of hiring a sales team, managing operations, and committing to countless calls and events.

What looked simple from the outside was draining from the inside because I wasn’t aligned with the process or the hidden demands.

Simply put, I’m not built like a Hormozi, a Sam, a Codie, or a _________.

I’m built like Vanessa Lau.

It took falling off the rails and losing myself to understand this finally.

Today, I continue to share my story, hoping others will realize this for themselves, too.

The truth is, you can follow someone else’s blueprint, but if it doesn’t align with who you are and how you want to operate, the journey will always feel crippling— even if the cage is golden.

Success isn’t just about hitting numbers—it’s about creating a life and business that feels true to you.

The problem is that most of us spend more time looking externally for answers instead of internally to discover who we really are and what we truly want.

When we take the time to understand ourselves, the tactics and strategies become clearer, and we can finally build in a way that feels aligned.

What Now?

My approach to success has evolved significantly since my sabbatical.

In fact, it’s inspired me to take on a personal project:

Redoing some of my most popular videos to better reflect my current values and outlook.

Every month, thousands of people discover my channel, many of whom watch my YouTube-related content.

That’s why I’ve decided to kick off a NEW and UPDATED 6-part YouTube series, where I’ll share how I bring my videos to life now that I’ve returned to being a solopreneur.

Here’s what’s ahead:

The first video of this series is now available, and you can watch it here

After reading this email, it should be clearer now why I’m starting my YouTube series with a video about mindset.

Yes, in the series I’ll be sharing some strategies, processes, and tutorials — but the truth is, these things can only take you so far.

If tactics were the only way to success, you wouldn’t see 98% of students who buy YouTube courses failing—even if they have the entire roadmap.

The true key to success is in the way you think about the creation process, and this video discusses my new mindset when I make videos. Without this new way of thinking, I don’t think I’d still be making videos today.

This YouTube video includes eight specific shifts that have changed my approach, inspired me, and helped me get unstuck, and I hope it helps you, too.

As always, stay true to yourself!

Vanessa

PS: I noticed that 82% of people who watch my videos aren’t subscribed, and only a small percentage have the notification bell turned on:

If you haven’t subscribed yet or don’t want to miss my upcoming series, subscribe and hit the bell here!

I make videos for free to help others avoid the mistakes I made, and to be the person I wish I could’ve watched five years ago.

If anything I say resonates with you, engaging, liking, or subscribing helps the algorithm share these videos with more people who need to hear a different way of approaching content and business.

I appreciate you so much, and thank you for your continued support ❤️️